kellee929's Journal

1:04pm: ergh
Wow, it's been pretty much forever since I last updated this thing, but whatever, no one really reads it anyway.... I've been thinking alot lately about the fact that going to Africa means I have to give up ALOT of stuff, some of which doesn't bother me, but some of which does... like the fact that I can't be in a relationship for the next 3 years, unless by some miraculous chance I find someone over there that I want to be with... but that in and of itself could create alot of problems because even if I loved the guy and wanted to marry him and all that jazz, living in a hut in Africa is a lot different then living in America, and he could be totally different once we got back.... and then if I don't find someone over there, I'm going to be 26 by the time I get back herem, and I'll have to embark on finding someone around here. It wouldn't really be a big deal, but when I planned my life, I really wanted to start having kids before I was 28.... but oh well, I think it will be worth it, I really feel called to go and if that means being single for the next 3 years, then it's something I'll have to put up with... I think this is all getting to me now because everyone around me is in a relationship and even when I meet guys that are interested, I don't want to start anything with them, because I hate going into a relationship knowing that it's going to have to end... I just wish they would get that... Anyway, for the 2 people that read this, have an awesome day and I love you! :)

10:17pm: I'm walking on cloud nine!
I feel like I'm on top of the world tonight! It's crazy because the last couple of days have.... well, sucked, to say the least. But tonight, I found out BK (my awesome boss and friend) got the home manager position, which puts me one step (even if it's a small one) closer to getting the assistant job, getting full time hours, a raise and BENEFITS (!!!!!!!!), which then leads to me getting my own place! So yeah, that's pretty much awesome, let's just hope it all turns out that way!
Then... because I'm a huge nerd, I was watching American Idol (only because I'm slightly addicted to it...) and the person I detest more than anything got voted off and I couldn't be happier! WOO HOO! God I'm a loser... but that's alright, because I'm walking on air right about now... let's just hope I can remember all the good times and forget about all the crap that's been going on lately, I don't need any bad things to bring me down, life is so much better when I'm happy! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

12:53am: sleep.... that elusive dream I keep chasing....
so it's almost 1 am and I have to be up in about 4 hours or so to go to work... yay for me, I get to do a transport with the most difficult girl we have at respite... it takes 5 really buff guys to get her out of the van and into the school most of the time. But I can't sleep. Which means tomorrow's going to suck huge, cuz I am going to be extremely exhausted. I may just stay up all night eating taco doritos, because let's face it, it doesn't get any better than taco doritos. I wrote a blog on my myspace, you should read it... it's all about people that pretend to be friends with you, but in actuality never talk to you... hmmm I think I know quite a few people like that.... I'm cleaning out my myspace account and I know there are going to be a lot less people in there... I may possibly only end up with approximately 3 friends, but I think I'd rather only have 3 friends then 99 imposters... that's just me though. I'm done now, I think I'm going to watch tv or something, since sleep is definitely not about to come anytime soon...

3:24pm:

Your Dominant Intelligence is Interpersonal Intelligence

You shine in your ability to realate to and understand others. Good at seeing others' points of view, you get how people think and feel. You have an uncanny ability to sense true feelings, intentions, and motivations. A natural born leader, you are great at teaching and mediating conflict. You would make a good counselor, salesperson, politician, or business person.

You Are An INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

yup. that's fun.

1:19am: Has there ever been a time in your life when everything just seemed to be falling in place and you feel as though anything you try you'll succeed in because nothing could possibly go wrong? I know that's a bad way to think, because then you get disapointed when life says haha and throws you a curve ball... but some days, it's nice to be able to bask for a little while in that feeling... :)

2:26pm: I'm no longer a roller coaster virgin....
This weekend was exhausting, but also amazingly fun..... Friday night kinda sucked, but it was good to be able to get some sleep in.... Saturday, Sarah and I drove down to Ann Arbor to see Kels and Kevin. Then we went over to Kevin's friend Derek's house and watched Click, which is a great movie... then Sunday we went to Cedar Point! For all of you that may not understand my utter excitement about this, let me just tell you that before yesterday, I had never been to Cedar Point and had never been on a roller coaster... so I was a little nervous and a lot excited. We drove down with Kevin's friends Derek and Joey, who are absolutely hilarious. We went on several rides, the first of which was the Raptor, and we got seated in the ront row. About halfway through the ride, I remember screaming "this is fricken awesome!" or something like that. So we spent the whole day down there and drove home last night, after we all almost got sick riding the Raptor one too many times. We also got to go through a drive thru convenience store, which was kind of weird, but cool. Then we went out to dinner at Chili's and Sarah and I drove back to GR... it was a great time, but my body is a little sore today. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to do today to tire myself out, because I have to work a third tonight and I need to go back to bed at some point today before I have to go in.... hope y'all had a great weekend too!
~Me

9:35pm:

You Are a Jam Cookie

On the outside, you project a straight-laced, innocent vibe. But on the inside, you're complex, exotic, and full of flavor.

yup that's me....


so lately it seems as though everyone is basically telling me how they think I should be living.. I shoudl be dating as many people as I can, and I should be exercising and taking diet pills, because no one wants to date someone that's fat.... cuz, we all know that there's no one in the world that would actually maybe look at someone for the person they really are and not just what they look like... and you know, I should date, all the time, everyday, regardless of the fact that I like not really dating and being picky and would rather be alone than date just to say that I'm dating... it's kind of frustrating!

8:45am: I have the most amazing friends ever... I know a lot of people say that, but it's true in this case.... they are truly amazing.... Sarah got me a CD, MP3 radio thing for my car and tickets to the CIRCUS! Kelsey got me a totally awesome lamp and they both got me awesome cards... I love having a birthday, it's one of the best things ever! Tonights the big party at the Pub, I highly suggest everyone come, it's going to be awesome!

Happy Birthday to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12:40am: I got a tennis racket today, for my birthday, from Amber...

I like it, it's pretty, and part of the proceeds goes to the breast cancer thing, which is good too.
we totally broke it in tonight, and it's a good thing, cuz I had a lot of fricken stress to get out of my system... but hey it's almost my birthday, so that's a good thing, right????


yeah that's what I thought... I also got my haircut, bought some new clothes and moved around my room... I have to finish that now, and then hopefully go to bed, cuz I'm super tired... have a good night!

4:48pm: so I get out of work at 1 tomorrow...
I think we should hang out, just because it's been a while... and because I'm basically amazing, not pathetically basic, like some people I know... so yeah..
call me





ok bye

4:51am: so here I sit at 5 am, yet again not asleep, although I don't have to be up until at least 5:30... I am really starting to get tired of this... it's not as though things in my life are going so horribly bad that I have to lay awake at night and think about them... actually, it's just the opposite, life is really good. I have great friends, a great job and a great place to live... plus, the other night was pretty awesome too. I'm just so tired of not sleeping. haha, that kind of sounds funny... or maybe it's only funny because I have been awake for way too long...

at least I only have to do a transport today, which means I should be home by 10 at the latest and can get a little bit of sleep... I hope


oh yes, a few things I've learned in the past few days...
Little Miss Sunshine... not the best movie... in fact, it's not really that good at all, it had some funny parts, but definitely not something I'd ever want to see again
If you ever go to IHOP by the Celebration North theater and there's a waiter named Tim there, turn around and walk out the door... just trust me on this one
lastly, I learned that there are so many damn ignorant people out there... I expected it, but I guess I just didn't think it would happen so soon....

but the good news is that I survived my first date in 2 years... and managed to secure a second one... heck yes I rock!

ok that's all... now to find something else to do to occupy my time until I have to leave for work... later all!

10:42am: My birthday is in 17 more days.... not gonna lie, I'm pretty stoked about the whole pub/bonfire bonanza. It shall be grand!

6:35pm: FUCK!




ok just had to get that out.....

10:28am: Weekend
I have the weekend off!!!!!!!!!!! Sooooooo excited! I'm going to be at the pub tonight and tomorrow night I get to spend time with my favorite Sarah! I don't really know what else I am going to be doing, but I can tell you what I'm not going to be doing.... getting up at 5:30am to go to work everyday! Hurrah!

3:36am: circle?

What shape are you? A triangle, a circle, a rectangle, a square, or a Squiggle?

You are a circleThe circle is an ancient symbol. It is the most used shape in religions. Circles are the people who seek harmony. Circles are the caretakers, the peacemakers, and the nurtures of the world. Circles simply need to help. They love people with problems! They are the huggers and the smilers. The circles motto is "forget your troubles and just get happy!" Circles are the teachers and office workers who put smiley faces on things. Circles are the sales associates who always say, Have a nice day. Circles are talkative, self-critical, warm, caring, sensitive people. Circles are real people persons, with lots of friends. Circles love to gossip, but generally not maliciously. It is just that everybody tells them everything! Circles cannot stand conflict. They are joiners and often belong to many clubs or organizations. If we consider how circles think, they are both linear and non-linear, left brained and right brained; they can think in both styles and are the only shape that has this duality. Circles combine their thinking styles in a unique way that makes them somewhat intuitive. They have a sixth sense when it comes to communicating. Why? Because they can read people. They are the best communicators of all the shapes. Jimmy Carter is a circle. Please rate. you don't have to message! Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

so here it is, 3:37 am, and I am wide awake. Yet again. This whole insomnia thing is really starting to become a problem. Especially since I have to be up at 6 to go work for 7 hours with a kid that hates me and beats me up and another that runs away all of the time. I just wish I could sleep for more than 2 hours at a time without having to take a sleeping pill. That's seriously the only way I can sleep is take a pill. That's not a good thing. My ADHD was way out of control today and that may have something to do with why I can't sleep right now. I feel like I've been sleeping for about 14 or 15 hours, when in reality, I've been up since 8 am. Tomorrow (or rather today) is going to be interesting because I am working until 2, then picking up Kels, running some errands and heading over to AQ so that we can eat dinner with Sarah, after which her and Kels are going to go to class and I am going to hang out in Sarah's room until at least 10:30 pm, at which point, I am going to bring Kels home and finally get to bed myself, probably around midnight or so. So that will be about 38 hours straight or something. Fun fun fun. I'm going to stop for coffee on the way in to work this morning... I'm going to need a BIG cup of it, or maybe a couple. Anyway, I'm done bitching about my issues for the time being. I get to go to the pub, finally, on Friday. If anyone wants to come out, give me a call and let me know, or just show up, I'll be there around 10ish!

6:06pm: sometimes you're the pigeon, sometimes you're the statue... today I'm the statue
I am seriously burned out when it comes to work. I really really want to want to be here, I love the boys and I love the work that I do. But I really really need a break. I need to take time off and drive down to the ocean or something. Just get away from everything and everyone. However, with recent bills, that is definitely not a possibility. I have to save up for Kelsey's wedding, because I have to throw her a shower and 2 bachelorette parties, not to mention pay for the dress (which I've already done) but also pay for the alterations and the hair and makeup people, twice, because we have to do a run through before the wedding. I'm really excited about it, but it is so darn expensive. It wouldn't be a huge deal, but now I have thousands of dollars in medical bills to pay off too. yeah, I'm beginning to be a little overwhelmed with life....
This weekend was pretty fun though, I went to Ann Arbor for Kelsey's birthday and had a great time. I met a guy at the bar on Saturday night, and he actually called me yesterday, but I have no desire to call him back. I really don't want a relationship right now, my life is too confusing without one, I don't want to know how it would be with one. Yesterday was a really bad day, for the most part. It was good because I got to spend some time with two of my bestest girls, Sarah and Kels, but bad because I kept hurting myself every 2 minutes (banging my head on the door of my car, slamming my arm in the door, stuff like that). I also found out my true bra size.... it's so horribly bad that I don't even want to put it on here.... :(
This weekend is going to be not a lot of fun either. I'm working from 3-9:30 tomorrow night and then 11p-7a. Talk about a long day... I was supposed to work 3-9 on Saturday too, but the boy's mom felt sorry for me and told me not to come in, because that's just way too many hours in such a short time.... yeah I would have been working 20.5 hours in 30 hour period... that's just not right at all.
I'm looking for another job, doing some form of social work at the hospital. If anyone knows of anything, that would be great. I would really ideally like to work at the Children's Hospital and am emailing my old contact there to see what she thinks my chances are. I would keep this job, and only do part time at the other. I need to do something with my life, I've been pretty stagnant lately. Anyway, that's all for now, hopefully life starts to look up soon.... give me a call sometime, I'm in desperate need of a fun time. I was thinking about maybe doing something on Saturday, so let me know!
Kellee

7:47pm: don't worry all, I am still alive... although I ran out of my drugs today, so that may not be the case for much longer if the pain doesn't go away.... I was in the ER on Thursday night for kidney stones, and let me tell ya, if you've never had them.... the pain is the worst thing ever. I have never been in this kind of pain before.... it was beyond crying pain... I was shaking all over and I couldn't even talk barely. I was also throwing up every 5 minutes... it was bad. You should be glad you weren't there, it was kind of gross. Sarah was by my side the entire time though (thanks friend!). She has now seen more of me than anyone should ever see, and I'm so glad she was there for me. She held my hand during the ultrasounds, the exams and all the other bad stuff they did to my body when trying to figure out what I had. She's amazing. Plus, I spent the week at her house afterwards, recuperating. We went to see "My Super ExGirlfriend", which wasn't really any good, and then we also saw "Lady In The Water", which was really good. We also got to see a lot of sexy men (mostly Chris...) play basketball with no shirts. It was hot. But now I'm home and back to work and all that. See y'all later!
Kellee

4:39pm: This whole week has been so crazy... I've finally discovered why people don't like working in the morning all of the time. It sucks having to get up early, meaning that you have to go to bed early, when all of your friends stay up late. It's really not that much fun at all. But work isn't too bad, at least I like my co workers, especially Jay... we have good times.
Speaking of good times, I've been hanging out with Sarah basically everyday this week. That girl is so amazing, I hope she realizes it. I'm so blessed to have her as a friend. Last night was a good time too... man, I actually drank last night, a lot... it's definitely not something I could do very often... I don't really know how people do it, honestly. I know you build up a tolerance and all that, but man did I feel like crap when I woke up this morning... I don't know why I bother setting an alarm either, I was definitely awake at 7 am... but it's ok, because I came home and went back to sleep for a little while. Fuzzy, good party, it was fun. Now I'm where I always am, at work, and so I should probably go. But we should all definitely hang out sometime, I think if it wasn't for Sarah, I would be a hermit by now.
love and all that
Kellee

10:46am: uh huh
so I haven't updated in a while, or at least, it seems like a while to me. Life has been.... alright lately. This weekend was crazy though. I worked Friday night and then went to the pub for a little while. I was really responsible, I left at midnight and didn't drink at all, because I had to work from 7a-9p the next day. However, I couldn't sleep at all. I seriously got about a half hour of sleep that night, then went and worked for 14 hours, then went over to Sarah's house to see some explosions. I got home from there at about midnight or so. It was a pretty long day. Then on Sunday, I worked with the boys in the morning and at respite that night, putting in 10 more hours. On Monday I worked for 9 hours, and then went to see Kelsey and Kevin, which was fabulous, because I never get the chance to see them anymore. Yesterday was pretty fun too, I went to a cookout with Sue and her family, then went to see the fireworks at this AMAZING apartment downtown, then drove to AQ (nostalgic sigh inserted here) and then went over to Sam and Jake's. We hung out there for a while, then went to Steak and Shake, where we had an awful waiter... quite possibly the worst service ever, even more so than that great night at the truckstop. But it was stil fun. And I got home at 4:30ish, and now I'm incredibly tired, but I have to get ready and go to work again, so no more sleep for me! My bestest friend (besides Kelsey and Sarah) is going to be here Saturday night, and I don't know what we should do, so any ideas would be greatly appreciated!!! Also, on Saturday, I'm going dress shopping with Kels for her dress and mine for the wedding... Oh happy day!!
~K

6:46pm: some days you feel like a nut...
I saw a great quote today... it said:
"Patience is trusting in God's timing"
yup... you know why I like it... I know you do...


ok bye

12:01am: Crump Pump what??
so the bar was alright.... a lot of dancing and a lot of creepy old men... but a lot of people from highschool too.... it was weird seeing some of them people again...
This whole weekend has been busy. Friday night after I got home I hung out with Steph... we went to Midland, to the mall and saw some people we haven't seen in a long time, then we went to Applebee's and talked and laughed. I think it's awesome that we can go 6+ months with out hanging out and within 2 minutes, it's like it used to be between us. Anyway, Saturday I went picking strawberries in West Branch with my mom and little brother. I got to see my aunt, some cousins and my grandpa, who took us out to dinner. Then I came back and went to the bar and spent the night at Steph's. Today we went geo caching ALL day. I found a bunch of the cache's, which rocks my world. Then I came home and fixed up my berries. Tomorrow I have to go to the bank to get my student loans consolidated, then I'm driving home. It should be a good time. Anyway, I'll be home sometime tomorrow afternoon, so if y'all want to hang out tomorrow night, give me a call!
later all!
~K

11:47pm:

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget. You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds. You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you. Your near future is a lot like the present, and as far as you're concerned, that's a very good thing. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

interesting.... I'm in Pinny right now, I have the next couple of days off and decided I wanted to come and see the kittens and my mom and all that. Plus, Stephie is home from Iowa, so it's a prime time to come and see everyone. the past few weeks, or however long it's been, have been crazy... a lot of stuff going on with a lot of people... I got bit at work, on the arm. I've still got a mad bruise. It's kind of cool looking. Tomorrow night I'm going to the Crump Pump (yeah it is a real place...) with a bunch of girls from highschool, some of whom I haven't seen in almost 4 years.... yeah, should be interesting... but that's all for now, peace and all that fun stuff!
K

5:12pm: I wouldn't say this is totally accurate....
Take the quiz:
What does your birth month reveal about you?

September
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisureand traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!


last night was a good time, it was the first of the summer shifts with the boys... 6 1/2 hours a day... it doesn't seem like a lot, but trust me, when your night consists of going to the library, it really is... But Andi and I had fun, we took the boys to see "Cars". It was pretty funny. Then we had dinner at the mall and went to KB Toys and played around there for an hour or so. I got to talk to Joe, which was nice... Then after work, a bunch of us went to the pub (of course, it's a Friday night, where else would we go?!?!?) As usual, it was a good time, with lots of dancing and fun stuff. I got home and talked to a friend, as it's her birthday today and I haven't talked to her in a while. Then I went to bed.... yup, cuz I'm that cool. But I have the weekend off (YAY!), and tonight I'm going to hang out with Kels and Kevin for a little while, then go and see my bestest Sarah. Not sure what we are going to do yet, any ideas anyone? But yeah, that's all from the exciting life of me at the moment.
ok bye

11:38pm: I'm feeling restless tonight
why does my life feel so.... blah lately... I should be so happy and content, but all I am is restless... whenever I'm at home, I want to be out and when I'm out I want to be home... when I'm around people I want to alone and when I'm alone, I want to be around people. It's like I can't be satisfied anymore with what I have and where I am... sorry if I've been weird lately, I just feel like I have a million things to say and no way to say them...
I've had the urge the past couple of days to call up Joe Graves and ask him if he wants to get a cup of coffee or something. I haven't talked to him in ages, and I really miss our conversations... he's one of the few people that I've always been able to be completely real with, no matter what the topic or situation. I miss that... it reminds me of some lyrics from a Casting Crowns song:
"But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be..."
~Stained Glass Masquerade

At least Joe knows the real me, even if no one else does. Anyways, it's a good song, I encourage you to check it out

last night was fun. I learned how to play Texas Hold Em and did pretty damn good for it being my first time. I got home around 3:45a, which was nice, not too late, but not too early either. I had the day off and pretty much laid around for most of it. Got a hair cut and bought some new shoes (a little retail therapy!) but that's about all that I did. I have to do a transport tomorrow (that's a 7-10a shift), but I'm not tired at all and I really just don't want to be here. I may just take a walk. I don't know. Leave me some love or something
ok bye

8:36pm: ummmmmmmmmmmmmm...... sure?

Your Personality Is Like Acid

A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict. One moment you're in your own little happy universe... And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell!

so last night was grand, went out, had a "few" drinks, danced like a mad woman, beat Fuzzy at air hockey and pool, and had some joyous times... hurrah for uncle Karl and Sue!